More then one-third of the population in the U.S , or 78.6 million people are obese . Why is that you may ask ? Well because of all the fast foods such as Mcdonald’s , Burger King , Wendy’s , KFC , Sonic , Taco Bell , and many more . Mouth watering greasy foods , double stacked , bacon , ketchup, mayo ,! golden brown fries , milkshakes on the side .
So I’m Guilty ! That used to be me ,You caught me .
Growing up I didn’t really care what stats said or anyone said for that matter . Being Portuguese I always ate a lot before it all started to take a big toll on my health . When I was little eating fast food was kind of a treat and then when I was a teen into my adult years it turned into more of an everyday thing because I was to lazy to cook .
Wake up in the morning eyes barley open , hair looking like I’m from a 70’s rock band to in a rush to actually sit down and eat a healthy meal so what did I do grabbed a coffee loaded it up with extra sugar and crème , maybe some donuts to shut up my growling stomach . Afternoon rolls in after a long day at school , oh wait I work full time so I have no time to go home a relax , I’ll just grab a bite to eat at Burger King , over 500 calories later and its only 3 in the afternoon .
I guess I didn’t notice what I was actually doing to my body until my yearly check ups and the doctors . When I stepped on the scale each year my weight would increase by at least 10 pounds . I would look at the chart and it started to look like I was playing tick tack toe , or I was in algebra class all over again trying to find the slope of this huge line . So at the age of 19 being almost 200 pounds I finally said enough is enough . No more !
They say one day your going to wake up and if you want change that bad you will make it happen , and yea pretty much that’s exactly what happened . I got tired of being over weight and not doing anything about it . When my clothes weren’t fitting me and I had to do jump and jacks just to get my jeans on I said okay it’s time to hit the gym . So I’ve been a member at Work Out World In Fall River for a little over 2 years now . I try to get to the gym as much as possible but between working full time and going to college it averages out to be at least 4 times a week . Cardio is what I mostly focused on my first few months at the gym . Cardio is really good for your health , it helps build stamina , and endurance , its good before a long workout for your heart , and gets your blood flowing to all your muscle’s , and through your body . The main reason I do a lot of cardio is because it helps burn off a lot of calories . So when I walk into the gym I always stretch first and then get right on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes , then the elliptical .
So next came the fun part . When you picture a gym what do you picture ? A bunch of guys with spikey hair , tan skin , and their veins popping out of their muscle’s . Well some of that is truth but I was only going to the gym to be healthy and stay fit . So yes I lifted weights , but only to tone up my muscles . I also did it to gain strength in my arms and back . And lets face it girls love a guy with nice arms .
Everyone also wants them rock hard abs , that will have the girls all dreamy . But what a lot of people fail to understand is that not just working out but healthy dieting is a big factor in being fit , staying fit , and keeping your body in shape . So as I mentioned earlier I had to cut out all the fast foods , all the foods that grease would be dripping down to my plate while I was biting into it . No more of the salty French fries loaded up with sauce . I changed over to a lot of grilled chicken , salad , rice , fruit , steak and smoothies . I cut out a lot of fats & carbs from my diet and replaced them with a lot of protein for energy .
Believe it or not working out and dieting the rite way is a big factor on your health . The more fit you stay the better it is on your heart , muscle’s , and other organs . No I’m not trying to be one of those people you see on infomercial’s saying try P90x , try weight watchers . But in my experience through life working out and eating proper changed my life and my health in a big way . I feel more energized during the day , when I look in the mirror I’m way more self confident , I can buy more clothes , I don’t sound like a dying hyena walking up a flight of stairs .
Over the past two years I’ve managed to stay in a healthy weight class of 170 , no medical problems , no annoying doctors telling me what to eat , no little devil on my left shoulder telling me eat that burger Jared eat that burger . I feel better , I look better & my confidence is way better . I chose a healthier lifestyle and I don’t regret it . The more the effort the better results !
This works fine as a health-themed memoir. Your writing is fluent here and readable, with some nice touches of humor.
When I look at focus (universal significance, what this is about, etc.), I’m challenged to get beyond “I decided to lose weight, so I did.” I’m not sure that necessarily engages a reader. I’d suggest thinking about what you can *give* a reader by telling your story, or how you anticipate how a reader might be able to connect this to his/her own experience. Most of us already know that going to gym and eating better should result in weight loss. So could this be about something more general like facing reality or taking responsibility? Or could this be about discipline? You make it seem awfully easy–was it? The other thing you mention that seems resonat to me is about how this increased your confidence–maybe there’s a message there for readers?
In addition to thinking about what your message is here, I’d also encourage you in revision to think more about delivering some specific scenes–maybe of making the decision to lose weight initially, the first time you went into the gym, moments of facing weakness (if you did) and how you recovered from that. I say in class that your two options (gross simplification) for memoir are a film clip (one well-developed event) or a series of snapshots (shorter bits of well-developed scenes). In this case, since your focus is (maybe?) about changes over time, the snapshot model seems more appropriate? (though if you have one significant incident that sums up your message, that could work too).
peer review
Jared, I enjoyed your story. its really inspiring, I can relate I struggle with me weight and trying to turn it around. can you add a little more detail about how you felt. or your first few times at the gym or the days were you weren’t as motivated as others?